Life with a newborn can be quite challenging at first. In her July 29, 2009 article How to Save Your Marriage From Your Kids, featured on CNN, Terri Cettina suggests new parents should become more realistic about the changes that occur once baby is born. As new parents try to find the balance between baby and life, relationships with a significant other can fall to the wayside. It's important to find opportunities to help keep the relationship alive after having a baby.
How Couples Can Find the Balance After Baby
In the first few months, newborns create their own schedule which makes it hard for couples to find the time to spend with one another. Balancing a baby's needs with the chores of a household can be hard enough. Parents need to remember to go easy on the other party. They are both trying to figure things out. Life with a new baby can bring a lot of joy and bring couples closer. However, life with a new baby can also present challenges that were unforeseen. Don't let the little things get in the way of the relationship.
New Parents Have to Make Some Sacrifice
The cleanliness of the house might need to be sacrificed so that both parents can appreciate some down time with one another. Decide what is most important and make a schedule of when the chores can get done. Don't be too hard on each other. It should not be a strict schedule but more like a guideline.
Everyday Tips for Spending Time Together as New Parents
Try to find at least 20 minutes a day to snuggle, hug or just spend time together talking on the couch or in bed. Go to bed at the same time. Give each other appreciations and compliments every day. Intimacy does not have to involve intercourse. Finding the time to reconnect throughout the day is very important in a relationship. It also shows a strong and healthy model for the kids.
Dates for New Parents
Finding time to have a date as a new parent can be very challenging. Date night can happen right in the living or dining room. Order in a favorite meal so there is more time to spend together and less time spent on laboring over a hot stove and cleaning dishes. Or if money is tight, cook a meal together. Light some candles and talk while cooking. After dinner, give each other a shoulder rub. Massages are free and a great way to relieve stress.
How Couples Can Keep the Communication Open
The best thing couples can do is keep the lines of communication open and be realistic. Talk about the things that are frustrating as well as the happy things. Remember old times or the first date. Thinking about the past and good times can rekindle the love new parents have for one another. Don't become strangers to each other. Talk about what happened that day or weekend plans.
New Parents Can Support Each Other
Helping one another with the little things will go a long way in the relationship. Stay away from type casting the chores and activities with the baby. Take turns doing the dishes, laundry, bathing or diaper changing. Parents can share days where they get to sleep in. Sleep deprivation is the hardest part of being a new parent. The more couples help each other the closer they will feel to each other.
The good news is that babies grow up and things do get easier for parents. Once babies become toddlers they sleep more regularly, which allows more time for parents to enjoy each other's company. Be realistic about the expectations and splurge on the relationship every now and again. Most importantly, talk to each other because knowing what the other person is feeling is essential in a healthy relationship.
Resource:
Cettina, Terri. " How to Save Your Marriage From Your Kids " CNN Living Website (accessed on December 28, 2009).
Andrea Meller - Andrea was born and raised in Philadelphia, PA and moved to LA in 2004. She graduated from Temple University/Tyler School of Art, with a ...
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